


these days are numbered

by lafleurasexuee



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gay James Madison, Gay Thomas Jefferson, M/M, Minor Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Pansexual Alexander Hamilton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26518492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafleurasexuee/pseuds/lafleurasexuee
Summary: JeffMads but modern and high school AU. Basically Jefferson is forcibly closeted because of his conservative parents & he’s threatened to be outed. Established JeffMads. Inspired by another fic I read once, I couldn’t find it or I’d reference it here. Oh yeah, title is from These Days Are Numbered by The Head & The Heart
Relationships: Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii so big disclaimer here I have no clue where this fic is going and no clue when I’ll update it. I honestly wasn’t planning on posting it yet but today’s national constitution day and Madison wrote that so yeah. Oh also warnings for a panic attack and threats of forced coming out and homophobia but that should be it for the whole thing.

Thomas watched James turn on his side and burrow into his pillows and his half of the blanket. Normally, Thomas would wrap his lanky body around James’ but Thomas could only stare. 

“T’mmy?” James asked in his half-asleep state, missing his body’s presence. Thomas shook his head. 

“It’s nothing, Jemmy. Go to sleep.”

James huffed and rolled over to face his boyfriend. 

“Tommy, what’s wrong?”

Thomas cursed himself. Now he was keeping his boyfriend awake instead of letting him sleep. 

“It’s nothing.”

James reaches out and stroked the side of his face. 

“You can tell me anything, babe. Promise.”

Thomas sighed. James was awake, so he might as well tell him. 

“It’s just... tomorrow’s the last day of break and I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

Thomas buried his face in James’ neck. 

“We won’t be able to be like this. It’ll be harder. Telling my parents I want to stay with you over break is easy, but there’s only so many nights of studying I can get out of them.”

James huffed and stroked his hair. 

“I’m sorry, babe. I know it sucks. But this time next year we’ll be in college and your parents won’t be able to touch us.”

Thomas sniffed and kissed him solidly. James sighed and they relaxed into the sheets. 

~

The January sun dawned bright and cold the next morning, and Thomas’ anxiety made him get out of bed as soon as he was awake. By the time he finished getting ready for the day, James was just getting up. Thomas gave him a quick peck. 

“I’ll grab my things and then we can get breakfast before I have to go back.”

James nodded, not noticing in his dreariness that Thomas was wearing one of his shirts (something he’d have great joy teasing him over later). 

Thomas had his duffel packed and was eating the waffles downstairs that James’ parents had forced on him when James came down. James’ parents were the complete opposite of Thomas’: they had guessed about their son’s relationship with Thomas from the start and were openly supportive of it, suggesting they share a room and always saying yes when James asked if Thomas could come over. 

James joined Thomas at the table and they ate in silence, dreading the moment Thomas would have to leave. Thomas hooked an ankle with James’ under the table, which made him grin at him and knock his foot with his own. Thomas grinned back. James grabbed Thomas’ phone from where it was laying on the table. 

“Jemmy?”

“I’m taking a picture for you. So you’ll remember this.” Unsaid was so you’ll remember this when you have to force yourself to be straight for your parents later today. 

Thomas smiled softly and let James take the picture. He only had a couple of pictures of him on his phone; if his parents saw a bunch of pictures of a boy on his phone they’d react poorly. But Thomas cherished each one he did have. After James took the picture, he frowned. 

“What is it? Did you have something in your teeth?”

James shook his head. 

“You have a text.”

He handed the phone back to Thomas, and sure enough, there was a text from an unknown number. Thomas frowned and unlocked his phone to open it. What he saw made him drop his phone and his face went white. 

“Tommy? Babe? What is it?”

Thomas merely shook his head, frozen in terror, so James got up and crouched next to Thomas. He held a hand questioningly over his phone, and Thomas nodded his permission. Once James comprehended what he was seeing, he sucked in a breath. The text was a photo with two short sentences underneath. The photo was from them kissing yesterday evening in what they thought was an empty parking lot. The message read: “$500 in cash Friday or everyone knows. You will be contacted with the address and time.”

James cursed. Money wasn’t a problem for Thomas; his family was filthily rich from their political fortune. The problem was that Thomas’ parents had control over his account and would until he turned eighteen, which wasn’t until April. James set the phone down. 

“Tommy, look at me.”

Thomas shook his head and kept shaking. He was now gasping sobs. 

“Shit, Tommy, you’re hyperventilating. You need to breathe.”

“C-can’t breathe,” he managed. 

James was freaking out. Thomas had had panic attacks before, but he’d always been able to pull him out of them pretty quickly. He didn’t know what to do. 

“Mom!” he shouted, feeling guilty when Thomas flinched, but knowing she could help. She appeared in the doorway, concerned. 

“Yes, dear?”

“Could you get a glass of water? And maybe a damp towel?”

Taking in the situation, she nodded and acted quickly while James rubbed Thomas’ back. She returned and handed them to James, which he took gratefully. 

“Tommy, I have some water for you. Can you take a sip for me?”

Thomas nodded shakily and James held the cup to his mouth. Thomas covered his hands with his shaking ones and managed to swallow some water. James took the rag and ran it over Thomas’ hands, neck, and face before placing it down. By the time he was done, Thomas’ shaking had decreased a considerable amount. 

“Tommy, are you breathing?”

“K-kinda”

“I need you to breathe with me, okay? In, out. In, out.” He repeated the breathing exercise until Thomas’ breathing steadied. Thomas gripped his waist and buried himself in his stomach. James stroked his hair softly. They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, Thomas loosened his grip and looked up. He wiped his eyes. 

“I have to go.”

“Tommy—“

“No, Jemmy, I have to go. If I don’t they’ll get suspicious or worried and I can’t—“

“Shh. It’s okay, babe, I understand. You have to go.” James hesitated. “Are-are you going to be okay?”

Thomas shrugged. 

“I’ll call you. And I’ll see you tomorrow, at school.”

James nodded. They stood together and Thomas lingered at the front door. 

“So—“

James leaned up and kissed him soundly. Thomas exhaled into the kiss and returned it. They separated, and Thomas’ face had taken on its steeliness that it had when he was about to do something he didn’t want to. James squeezed his hand. 

“See you tomorrow. Be safe.”

Thomas nodded. 

“Jemmy—“ he started. James waited patiently for him to continue. He seemed to decide he couldn’t put it into words, as he shook his head. “I love you,” he settled on. James smiled softly. 

“I love you too.”

Thomas inhaled sharply and closed the door behind him, headed into the fray. 


	2. Chapter 2

The first day back at school, Thomas could feel the muscles in his neck forming into knots by lunchtime. Thankfully, he had lunch with James, but knocking their feet together under the table only gave so much comfort. James, of course, was entirely aware of Thomas’ discomfort. Right after their shared fifth period, James pulled him aside discreetly, out of view. 

“Tommy,” James started, but Thomas shook his head. 

“Not here, James.”   


James frowned at the use of his full name. 

“Look, I know you. Oftentimes, better than you know yourself. I know you’re still thinking about that message.”   


Thomas scoffed. 

“You mean threat?” James’ forehead creased. 

“Tommy, I think we should get help about this.”

Thomas’ eyes widened and he shook his head. 

“It would defeat the purpose of the blackmail if we outed ourselves and I got myself disowned!”

“We don’t have to tell the whole school, Tommy, just someone that can help who we know won’t out us.”

Thomas frowned. 

“Aaron’s just as bad as my parents and I don’t really have friends.”

“What about Mr. Washington? He likes you, I can tell. Not in a pervy way, though. I think he sees you as kind of a son?”

Thomas shook his head. 

“I am not telling the principal about this.”

James chewed his lip and thought. 

“I might have an idea?”

Thomas noticed his sheepish posture and immediately connected the dots. 

“No.”

“Tommy—“

“I said no. I refuse to be in his debt.”

“Owing him a favor is much better than getting outed and disowned!”

“No. Never in a million years.”

“He knows I’m gay,” James blurted. Thomas flinched. 

“What?” He hissed. 

“You remember how we were friends freshman year before we had that falling out. He casually mentioned he was pan one day and I told him I was gay and he told me about his crush on Laurens and I told him about my crush on you, my impossibly straight best friend.”

“I’m sorry. Did you just say you told Alexander Hamilton, my worst enemy, that you’re gay and you like me?”

James huffed. 

“It was freshman year. You remember how you were. And besides, he hasn’t told anyone. He’s literally president of the GSA, it’s his job to protect gay kids.”

Thomas clenched his jaw. 

“Fine. I’ll ask him. If he’s not a dick to me.”

James rolled his eyes. 

“Like you’re not gonna be a dick to him.”

“Excuse me if I’m rude to the person who said you were ‘useless as two shits’ —“

“Thomas.”

Thomas huffed. 

“Fine. I’ll be civil.”

“The first GSA meeting this semester is Wednesday after school. Until then, don’t think about him, okay? Don’t think about it at all.”

Thomas took in James’ earnest face and puppy eyes and nodded. 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one’s so short! I’ll hopefully have the next one up soon but idk


End file.
